Thursday, September 22, 2005

Dance Upon The Shore

The lights of Duwamish are an enticing glow as I stand here, beside my little driftwood fire. The shifting colours in the flames mirror the Aurora singing overhead. Within my Circle, not so tiny under this full moon, I stand naked and fearlees. Tonight I will dance as my spirit does. Here, where Sun, sky, sea and sand are one.

The donkeys have nodded approval to all my preparations, as have Skye and Pye. Skye's silky white tail is in wild spikes from the salt water, as is Pye's impossibly fluffy brush in all the colours of the sand. My own hair is in salty curls and waves, the crystals shimmer on my skin like the light of faery fires in the oldest of old woods.

Without music I am dancing, easily, freely. The thunder of the surf mimics the sound of my feet on the sand. The music plays in my spirit and my body must follow.

So many things I dance for; for my own slow salvation, coming to me on a little breath here and there. For peace and understanding to come into my heart; so that I may once again see the spiderweb of silvery bonds between the stars, whether I seek them or not. I dance for that moment beneath a desert moon, when everything was right and I was still within myself.

I dance for the love I cannnot gainsay, no matter if it will be consummated or not. I seek some poor comfort in the knowledge that I can still love, deeply, passionately and fearlessly. That must be what I carry in the face of my all-too human heart.

On the nights I would beg the Gods bring this man to me, I must instead plead for his happiness with her. I cry that I should not be bitter or jealous, although I could scream with the raging against unfairness.

I dance for a future that will be at once so rich and full, yet achingly empty at the same time.

I dance in supplication, "Let not my brother have that ugliness in his flesh, let the tumor be benign. I would not have him eaten alive from within. Nor would I see his daughter suffer through seeing him with the Cancer, I could not bear her lose her father to a mass of freaked-out cells.

I dance also for my mother, that her worries be lessened; that her twilight years be easy, and she know happiness that goes through her soul and shines out of her eyes.

I pray that my baby brother regain his feet and stop hiding away from life. I ask the Gods to show him wellness and strength of spirit.

I dance for all of the friends that have shown me the better life I sought years ago. I wish them to know love and happiness, that their gifts be returned a thousandfold.

I dance even for my father, that he will know healing, and not hatred in his last years on this earth.

And lastly, I dance for myself, that my gifts will always be used in the service of the light. That I will grow and move closer to the Perfect Self every day of my life.

And, yes, I dance also for Him, that I may know him one day, all of him... the man as well as the friend I cannot live without. That wish which is kept sturdily locked away from the light of day.

Tears are caught in the corners of my smile as I dance until everything blurs into a whirl of colours and the sound becomes a long subsonic "OHM" that reverberates through me.

At last I can dance no more and I collapse in front of the dying fire, laughing and crying at once. Skye moves closer to comfort me, and soothe my heart.

Skye, with her sweet trill and trusting adoration. She is my comfort and my spirit's companion, I thank the Gods every day for bringing this sweet lady to my life. She blesses me with a silken head-butt.

Not worrying about my nudity I curl up by the fire with cats and donkeys huddling close, as if to protect me as my magicking wings wherever it is needed.

In the silence comes the voice of every mother, "Namaste, my daughter, be at peace." I answer, "Blessed be, Mother of Man." as I drift into sleep, snuggling a cat on either side, and the donkeys next to them.

4 Comments:

At 5:44 AM, Blogger Imogen Crest said...

This is just great, full of the beat of real life and great hope. Wonderful.

 
At 10:01 AM, Blogger Traveller said...

the images you have created here dance upon the retina of the imagination

 
At 3:07 PM, Blogger le Enchanteur said...

As I said in a piece on the Gypsy Camp, we have an exquisite necklace of pearls here on the Silk Road and this is a particularly stunning pearl. Bravo Gwen!

 
At 6:02 PM, Blogger Gail Kavanagh said...

beautiful, Gwen. Heartfelt and uplifting. Sleep well on the shore of dreams.

 

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